In a shocking revelation that has left fanboys both puzzled and inspired, Elon Musk allegedly admitted that he only showers "twice a month." On a recent podcast appearance, Musk said, "Daily showers are a capitalist marketing ploy encouraged by mega-corporations who generate billions from daily soap & shampoo usage." Elon added, "It's quite simple really... shower on the 1st & 15th of the month. Body odor is an integral part of humanity." Honestly, we just want to know what Elon's co-workers think about this. Do they fear the 14th of the month, when Elon smells like absolute shit? We reached out to Tesla for comment but did not hear back. Do you want to become a billionaire? Then it might be time to follow Elon's high IQ hygiene regiment.

The Greatest Facebook Marketplace Find 💰

Facebook Marketplace is the best. For those of you that don't know — Facebook has its own Craigslist alternative where users can sell their stuff... and it's gold. There are some insane listings on Marketplace from an old McDonald's playhouse, to a prison toilet, to used mayo, and so much more. After some extensive research, Sidetalk News was able locate the greatest Facebook Marketplace listing of all time: A 2000 Honda CR-V equipped with a two-ton speaker mounted on top. If you have spent some time in the Bronx, you are no stranger to these wonderful works of art. The giant speakers are so intense that they create mini earthquakes — you can feel them coming before you hear them. It’s listed for a whopping $17,500… anyone wanna chip in and buy this beauty?

Extra, Extra! 📰

• There’s an Ozempic Halloween costume

• @bingbongboyzzz hits 25k followers (follow!)

• NYC Mayor Eric Adams gets indicted

• Kai Cenat launches his own basketball league (peep the Sidetalk cameo!)